You’ve just taken the next step in your relationship: moving in together. Congratulations! You’re probably thrilled about it, and you look forward to your time together under one roof.
But this milestone can lead to many things–one of which is that it can cause a huge change in your relationship, for better or worse.
Any relationship milestone can be a rollercoaster of emotions. This one, in particular, can make you feel excited and apprehensive at the same time.
As most emotional decisions go, you might find it difficult to think things through. So we put up this useful guide to make your “moving in together” transition a little easier.
Think Carefully About Your Decision
Before you finally move in together, ask yourself and your partner why you’re doing it in the first place.
Sure, you probably think it’s time to take your relationship up a notch. But there could be other reasons: you’re moving in together for convenience’s sake or financial purposes. Or maybe because your lease is up, and it just makes sense to live under one roof.
If it’s because you two need it, rather than want it, then you have to pause and consider your goals and what both of you want out of your relationship.
Discuss Important Matters
As you sit down and have an honest conversation about this major decision, you need to discuss a few things that you might be uncomfortable talking about.
These include who should pay for what, how to divvy up household chores, if your partner doesn’t mind having your pet around, and whether you want to get married or have children.
By going over these important topics, you can save your relationship from major fight triggers in the future.
Decide Where You’ll Live Together and What You’ll Keep
If you’ve already concluded that moving in together is something you both want, you need to decide which place you should live in and whose furniture you’ll use.
During the pre-move period, you and your partner should take inventory of the things you’ll share. And since you have a limited amount of square footage to work with, it’s the perfect time to downsize and declutter.
No matter whose desk you’ll use or whose couch you’ll keep, you need to treat the place as a new space that each of you can call your own. You can always rent a storage unit to store the stuff you aren’t willing to give up.
Squeeze in Some Me Time
When living with someone, it’s incredibly important to set boundaries. This includes finding time for yourself.
Because in some cases, you might lose yourself or your sense of individuality in the process of moving in together.
It’s okay to eat dinner alone, and it’s completely fine to start watching the new season of your favorite TV show by yourself. It’s also okay to let your partner out with their friends.
By getting your “me” time, you can continue developing your sense of self and avoid future resentments.
Communicate as Much as Possible
What’s great about moving in together is that you’ll be learning what goes on in each other’s domestic lives. You’ll also get to discover each other’s quirks.
Sometimes, however, those cute quirks can be annoying.
As with any problem, it’s good to talk about your issues with your partner. Rather than bottling up your feelings and reaching a boiling point later on, you need to communicate everything that’s bothering you. And because communication is a two-way street, you also have to be ready for what your partner says.
Bumps in the road and occasional fights are all normal. After all, you’re only getting to know each other’s flaws and differences.
So if you have a romanticized view of moving in together, you need to look at the situation with a fresh pair of eyes. Expect that real relationships aren’t like those in “happily ever after” movies–they can get downright messy and frustrating.
When you encounter conflicts, good communication and focusing on the good stuff will surely save the day.
Enjoy This Major Step
By this point, you might think that moving in together is filled with a bunch of challenges–and it is. But it’s also important to enjoy the process.
While living together, you get to grow together and boost each other’s good traits. And once you learn more about your partner, you also get to learn more about yourself, along with the things you need to improve on.
As long as you constantly communicate and enjoy spending time under one roof, you’ll find this transition a breeze.
Hilltop at Shavano Apartments in San Antonio, TX